I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die. ~Isaac Asimov

Trying for betterment.

<3

Dari

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination. ~John Lennon

I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die. ~Isaac Asimov

I kid.

I would love for this to be my new long-term home.  I'm a long-term girl, or lady if you prefer, in everything I bother to take an interest in, do, pursue.  

So what has happened thus far:

2 car accidents (yes I cried, and petted my car child, I don't particularly love it, but none-the-less it is mine)
Lost wallet. (But miraculously no one stole anything from me!)
Battling an ulcer and stomach infection.(On-going, must be 1/2 a year now, estimate)
Worked with a handful of my favorite designers. (all the concepts thus far are unsettling and shy of just "pretty")
Got to revisit friends that had fled here or will shortly. (I am selective & really do love my friend's work, they're talented!)
Got to bond further with newer friends. (or older acquaintances, photographers I collaborate with)
Basically met the entire cast of modelmayhem... (That was a riot, everyone is so sweet, I am pleased)
Oh & finally have seen gothic boys in the flesh so that urge has been satiated.
Went to Bondage Ball, Fetish Nation and checked out some clubs.
I quit drinking (no more alcohol, impressive)  
Quitting smoking ciggies, slowly but surely.

I will at one point have to go to every Vegan place in the LA area. Oh my god, vegan food lust.

I'm going to keep it sub-level, maybe check out some Industrial joints and gallery shows.  Socializing without liquor at nightclubs and bars now seems nonsensical so really, I need to reconfigure my socializing habits.

It's interesting, I'm happy I think, now this feels almost new.  Not to be dramatic or that I am unhappy naturally, but the stress isn't over-riding my personality and energy as a person.  My old job really was hell on earth, I tried, but sometimes the environment has absolutely nothing to do with you and you can't change it no matter the effort.

mmm.  I hope to share some lovely things with you.  I'm presently busy trying to be busy... so we shall see!

<3
Darya Dasha

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination. ~John Lennon

I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die. ~Isaac Asimov

Bless insomnia
Bless thought and creation
Bless critical life,
Bless being sometimes in better ways & days
Bless desiring to be far greater things.
Bless capability and occasional achievement.
Bless the ability to feel loss and realize gain.
Bless more forward time.
Bless memories rehashed, re-kept
Bless creation, how the mind can transfer it all into alive.
Bless minds, when I can see them, feel because of them.


There's a sense of urgency when you care about anything, but especially when you feel strongly emotionally in conjunction with it.  I'm in LA and I'm starting to turn a colour, I am losing my white and I feel uncomfortable in my own skin.  The sun is eating my pale.  I'm content, presently seeking work in the media/entertainment industry.  Perhaps with a fashion magazine or clothing styling.  We'll see what I fall into.  I also want to work at least 1 or 2 other jobs asides from modeling, one would preferably be for a non-profit.  I'm always split between passions and identities.  At least here I have more people to humour my wild self and stranger still ideas.  I will let you know how I do.  I'm inconsistent in behaviour, mannerisms, thoughts, interests.  What I do know is that sometimes life is intriguing.

<3

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination. ~John Lennon

I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die. ~Isaac Asimov

Just wished to share

It's actually been a while since I relocated to another city, I had a tendency to  revert back to Washington State wilds vs a large city scape.   I am embodiment of excitement presently but am also attempting to plan out my future.  If you live there and wish to collaborate then please let me know.

<3

Darya Dasha

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination. ~John Lennon

I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die. ~Isaac Asimov

In essence, if there is an image you want then please let me know and I will make it available to you.  In all honesty I do not completely understand how "this" all works, but monetary motivation in me simply does not exist, except for the mere purpose of survival to carry on and create further.  I work other-wise anyway.  I have my other world for the sake of staying here amidst you all in decent condition but this is the world that truly makes me happy, here I am truly, most basically alive in the rawest sense.  I enjoy sharing my work because I have an explorative nature, and through time with enough effort and success of expression I just may be able to make evident my personality, in all it's variety.  This is just one medium I do but within it you do have unlimited ability.  If someday I can be art, then that would be flattering.  I just want you to SEE my thoughts, these are they, not all, but maybe one day I'll have tapped every available feeling and manner of physical communication

I personally know how greatly art influences my life, it has the ability to manifest a range of emotion, cultivate ideas and alter mood.  It's as though someone is whispering an invaluable thought into your ear that has rooted a possibility of change.

I am also quite excited to inform you that I will be delving into some unfamiliar territory and bringing it to the surface.  I am not prone to overly sensual work due to my somewhat private and shy nature (at least regarding sexuality).  But perhaps I am deranged, people say I am sensual by nature just not blatantly so.  I just see myself as a person that wants to see if what they visualize in their mind can be brought into reality.  There was this one great quote from a book on Sufism I once read, it basically states that man must live among others, how else can a talent be, without acknowledgment, does it even exist?

Thank you all of you sweet souls, I really appreciate all of the commentary and courtesy.  I have been battling a medical condition for years and occasionally I may not appear completely healthy, but I do not allow it to interfere with my passion.  This is it, this is where I draw my inspiration for life from, how can I beat a challenge unless I trudge forward?

<3

Precious Little

Darya Dasha

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination. ~John Lennon

I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die. ~Isaac Asimov

with good thoughts, in delight.


squirm in gorgeous imagination, to glue themselves to the shutter and watch as I become frenzy with my body.

Ah.  Good day.  While you're reading my wickedly kind words with passive-aggressive undertones, feel free to check out my latest works.  I really do quite like the J-Rock, tuxedo fetish themes and I think the severed little doll heads in tall head-dress of well.. magenta hair makes for an interesting piece to say the least..

still waiting for more so check back again.

and say hello if I haven't managed to scare you with how my brain can be.

~Darya

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination. ~John Lennon

I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die. ~Isaac Asimov

I'm waiting for my friend sipping on a cocktail.  One of those few nights where I go out.  Earlier this week my friend Ryoga and I attempted a gothic coffee night, neither of us felt like coffee, so I got an energy drink and we attempted to mingle, it was frought with difficulty but at least we had each other's company.  You could sense the awkward socialness, and asked, what should we do?  I heard hip hop karaoke streaming from Boswell's.  A bar/club I had first gone to 10 years ago, when I was much younger  We veered in, a Whiskey Sour and Kamikaze sounded soothing (times plural & plural for I).  It was wonderful, the music quite good, the atmosphere vibrant, the people pleasant.  I  was lucky for an Armenian fellow decided to sing Du Hast by Rammstein and I thanked him later on.  People were so kind and social with us!  I also recieved quite a bit of play from women, I wonder why, perhaps being comfortable in spiked heels and skinny jeans gives the impression of sexual abandon?  I do not know.

Tonight I am going to a punk/alternative show with some friends.  As for modeling.  Yes!  I do have many images pending and in the works!  I have not forsaken my passion.  You shall be very proud of the concepts I will partake in.  They generally remain a blend of extreme beauty, a hint of fetish.  I also attempted American retro pin-up, which between an Estonian, Indian and Vietnamese I found to be quite challenging.  I must admit to retro models, your work is difficult, my veiled topper is off to you!  

Tonight I hate to bring up such a topic, but this case affected me.  I had an urgent case come in which I tended to immediately.  A puppy I could see had been brought in directly from an airport, he was nearly comatose.  I know he originated from a puppy mill. His conditon quite truly has him on his deathbed.  What is even more distressing is that the previous day a certified veterinarian had given him a clean bill of health.  Then he, weight slightly over one pound was flown in plain cargo in frigid temperatures.  I tended to him for half the day, and he has to be transferred to an emergency clinic for urgent care overnight.  I sincerely hope he survives.  I worry for him, and in spite of all the other stress, this is what pushed me to extreme thoughtfulness and reflection.  When you handle someone and can not know if you will see them alive again.  It isn't curiosity as to whether they perish because of you or in spite of you, a distress that it is not necessary, but you learn again everything has it's limitations.  I'm carrying him within my mind and I need deccompression tonight because of it.  It's sad that not every interaction can have a positive outcome no matter your tries.

I'm planning on working with my photographic muse once more, as well as my beloved Destroy Inc and some other most wonderul and delicious talents.  I should be living in LA by the end of next month.  It's quite some work getting everything shifted there but I can't wait none-the-less.  Having all of this talent at my fingertips, within reach makes me so delighted I feel serene.  I do also plan on traveling across the US next year to EVERYWHERE.  I have my dream cities mapped out.  

I hope all of you are well and thank you for all the lovely comments.  I do read them all.

I must run, my cute friend is here!

<3
Darya Dasha

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination. ~John Lennon

I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die. ~Isaac Asimov

I meet someone nice, kind, I feel humanity redeemed itself.

The world is better again, fleetingly.

I am in a constant struggle between the polars of complete isolation and social adventure.

I get the impression my personality is too headstrong and honest (in a friendly manner) and that I scare others.

My heart simply has so much energy, at times it feels like an internal implosion.

Someday it'll be okay to open my mouth and say as I am, see and feel, (but it sure as f*ck ain't now).

I do not know why I never keep the realization that it will not change, this state is permanent.  

I wish I could subtract feelings and care less.

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination. ~John Lennon

I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die. ~Isaac Asimov

But it's not problematic.  

At times I am impressed by human creation so deeply it is overwhelming.  It is an effect from many experiences.  I never imagined myself to be so tediously phrased, a "people person", however this is what happens.  I meet someone new or get to know someone better.  Whether they are a photographer or an acquaintance, what happens, through dialogue, re-meeting them, getting to know them, I am, at a loss for better words.. enthralled.  

It is captivation spawn from connectivity.  It is because I feel again I am not alone in my way of thinking and how I am affected by the world.  What stuns me though, even though I can comprehend it, is human ability.  There is nothing and then through what we are comprised of we make something new, individual, moving.  And what is the purpose?  I feel that reason is not necessary or relevant here, it is not a question of why, though oftentimes we are confronted with it.  How is it for you?  My answer is that I can help but do it.  It's something I feel being inside of me and I try to see if I can construct it, make it real in the physical world.  How truly awesome is it to be able to touch or view something that prior had no existence before you made it?  Think of this when you are in the presence of another artist.  May perhaps I have too many moods, perhaps I touch the spectrums of emotion in excess.  I do change or trudge forward much more earnestly after I hear a beautiful composition. talk to another, see a photograph, learn that someone's person is kind, passionate, and also so unaware of their brilliance.  

I have done "art" for monetary means.  I did write assignments in Journalism because it was my duty, but it still did not have this certain feeling, drive.  I did try to make it  as best as I could, and to contain my spirit, but it was unnatural.  I have this desire.  I don't know if you know, but I am also a poet, and a Russian/English singer/songwriter.  I also have this fascination with machinery (sports motorcycles, cars, weapons) and fashion, amongst all of my other interests!  They are so many and varied.  I already stated my reasoning for doing it all, anything at all, asides from what one does for basic necessity, that old school, sinfully boring thing coined survival.  

Always countless undertakings, which I let simmer for a bit and then I try to sew all of these unrelated things together and compose a concept.  What is most wonderful though is when you meet another mind and then together it's a thoughtful explosion, excitement and something is borne from you two meeting and being together.  I truly do believe, that were certain people not able to meet or working together, that certain ideas would never have been produced.  There is a truth to the significance of chemistry.  

Here is an article from Skin Two with some images of the rope suspension I participated in earlier this month.

[link]

Am I pale enough?

Until later loves.

~Darya Dasha

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination. ~John Lennon

I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die. ~Isaac Asimov

I escaped the confines of san jose.  I feel as though I am in a colorful valentine's candy box.  I'm staying with a friend and the decor pretty much displays how I feel.  Pastel furnishings, fantasy, minimalism, modernism, vintage charm, comic pop art, a sweet fluffy kitty, it's almost unreal and I like it like that.  As soon as we pulled onto Hollywood Blvd at midnight I re-energized and felt this slight feeling of joy making it's appearance.  

I will primarily be spending time with a friend, as we may move in together and I need to become better acquainted with her.  Also, I never just live or discover any more, it feels foreign.  I feel aged, tired, quiet, I haven't always been like this.  Work has simply used me up and the world needs to pour more of it's contents into my mind and heart and give me that stellar heart thump of unbridled enthusiasm.    Maybe I haven't had a proper adventure in a long time, restarting life can be the greatest kind.   My friend is amazing, beautiful, sweet, also quite creative in looks and wardrobe, and her birthday is the following day after mine  We're both Libras, of the same age, and blonde.

I should go.  I am itching to get some new plug-ins for my photoshop so I could begin working on Sunday's collaboration.  I redid a look and am more pleased with the results.  Implied work is difficult to do without it becoming tiresome, tried, or looking unrealistic in the worst way possible.  But, I succeeded and I'm sure you'll agree.  If I can get my plug-in operating properly I will stay up tonight, work on images and share them with you.

I am only doing one shoot (hopefully) while I am here, with someone I really admire.  I'd love to work with more people but I am simply not here long enough, and I won't shoot for the simple sake of shooting.  Even though senselessness can work, I generally work better within a story or with a thoroughly thought out look, because then I live and breathe the character for those times, and it is authentic so it translates.  Does this make sense to you?  Sometimes I realize I am an artist and the things I say may seem a bit radical or eccentric, but I can't help how I feel.  

I'm so excited to see what all happens today

Much love!

Darya Dasha

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination. ~John Lennon

I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die. ~Isaac Asimov

I was going to take a break from DA for a month and try to focus on modeling whole-heartedly (after my hum drum work hours in place of sleep).  I honestly felt this last night, which crept into this morning and I am still wide awoke.  The reasoning?  Well, I honestly have been feeling as though my contributions simply are subpar.  I am expecting and desiring more from myself.  At one point I may well realize that with actual photography and minimal photoshopping that what I imagine in my mind can not be communicated into life...

but now is not that time.

It isn't to say that others are failing me in their abilities, because they are not.  I think for myself I do expect a genetic metamorphosis per project, though it is irrational, physically impossible.  My rational mind grasps this.  And please do not think for a moment I am dissatisfied with my appearance, I accept myself as I am, I do not feel self conscious about my body, not an once per pound, not at all.  How can you model but not think about appearance?  Because you're a thing to be utilized, you can have a role, create a reaction, induce a feeling, much like anything else.  Question me regarding confidence of my intelligence or success, well, that will make me shy and soft spoken, unless it is a topic regarding ethics.  

Presently I only have 9 more shoots left in a month's time, if only it were EOD at the least.  Yesterday I got to shoot with an LA photographer and MUA who randomly happened into this  town.  I have 2 shoots planned with other femme fatales.  There is one project I am building an accessory for, it's based off of a visual fetish I have, an ode to Valentino haute couture runway reincarnations, but I won't release this tender secret just yet.  I won't tell you any more, just make a sigh and hope I can show you how I feel internally, and make my thoughts come to life.

Here the DD (It's my 3rd)  What makes me happy is that all of the images are so different.  One was shibari rope bondage, another an artistic nude and this one incorporates a bit of fetish fashion.   Interestingly enough they all contain tasteful almost unnoticeable amounts of nudity, but I already mentioned I'm comfortable as is :

[link]

I got to do a little Q&A for one of my images for www.fashion-ph.it.  An online Italian fashion magazine.  So, check it out!  It's funny because I'm featured right alongside a photograph I recognize and favorited on DA

[link]

It was funny, I won an 18+ image of the day on www.modelmayhem.com but didn't realize it until I stumbled upon a forum that had concerns regarding the image selection.  But I thought I'd share it with you anyway.  It was my first and only gas mask set yet, and with fog, and in a booth and with flat shoes (as I do not wear them in real life):

[link]

Nu spakone noche druzya.

~Darya Dasha

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination. ~John Lennon

I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die. ~Isaac Asimov

I had an awkward social interaction with a photographer.  It left me a little self-conscious, which I don't like to feel, and does not happen frequently.  To feel,  dare I say... human?!  Hail to the no!  But, as with any problem, or possible action on my behalf that I am considering, I gave it time, to see if it would pass, and it did.  It's now at the back of my mind.  I'm proud of myself for keeping my mouth shut, I tend to divulge feelings, which can be scary to others.  Nothing bad, sweet feelings, but it was important to see if they were authentic or spurred by the situation.

So, the hiatus is none existent.  I have about 12 shoots planned for the month, now if I did not work full-time and was not stuck in a no nothing town, then that number would be inadequate, but that isn't the case.  It really isn't quantity any way.  But, I had to do every single one of these, they are all quite different, nothing relatively reality based, so I'm happy.   God, I don't sleep, work a hell of a lot, but somehow still feel like I hardly have very much to show for it, in due time I guess.

I should mention I am being reunited with my photographer counterpart this month, if you're familiar with my work you should be able to figure out who MY muse is.  I'm ecstatic.. so.. so.. happy.  I love working with him.  

Yes, he's one of my favorite people and photographers.  As a side note.  My favorite photographers are people I have worked with or will work with, I don't give up easily, or at all really.

Cheers and love,
Darya Dasha

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination. ~John Lennon

I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die. ~Isaac Asimov

To behave..
That I'm radical..
To buckle down..
That I think too much..
That I'm different..
That I'm unstable..
That I have a free spirit..
That I wear too much make-up..

BUT  the best thing someone once told me was:

"Find your awkwardness, make it your talent and strength and run with it."  

I haven't stopped running  I can't act worth a damn, but to me portrayal of emotion accurately is very important, or to get the story right.  Modeling is to me a visual form of poetry.  My awkwardness is my schizophrenic movement and suffocated posing, I go into this delightfully strange trance.  My parents never really told me too many nice things, because we all failed at emotional communication, but they also never told me to change anything about my appearance that society deems as imperfect.  I actually have a fang tooth, just the one, my mother told it was my distinguishing marking, reminded her of some Italian actress.  Photographers tell me it's my "bad" side.  It's funny how I'm completely uncritical about physical imperfections, it's quality I'm concerned about, oh well, that and creating art

I have work.. rescue me!

<3

Darya Dasha